What Changed Me
Unfamiliarity, change and something new is a thrilling for some people but frightening for others. For me, it was what I wanted to avoid as far as possible. I used to be a person who only likes something familiar with me. When I was confronted with an unfamiliar situation that I had not experienced, I suddenly felt nervous and was afraid for not being able to act as I am. For example, whenever I give my presentation in front of strangers, it makes me sweat and I cannot keep eye contact with the audience. I was overly concerned about what will happen to me because I had no idea what to do in such a case. I didn't want to imagine a situation I couldn't help myself. I was always full of thoughts if I forget what to say during the presentation and everything in my head is blanked out, the audience will whisper about my mistake. Though I liked meeting people and was rather outgoing, it was challenging that being confronted with a strange situation and meeting unfamiliar people in particular. Before I was in university, I used to settle for the situation there is no variety and accustomed to me.
ISO, international student organization, changed me. ISO marked a turning point in my life. I had no intention of joining to the buddy program at first, which is a program of ISO, matching an exchange student to a Korean student. One day, walking through the campus, my friend and I found a booth in front of the Globee Dorm where ISO staffs were promoting their program. My friend was interested in the buddy program and took the application form. She happened to take two papers so she gave me one. I still don't know the reason why I filled out that form and hand it in without courage to talk with foreigners in English. Ironically, my application was accepted but my friend's not. The orientation of buddy program arrived quickly. The auditorium, crowded with strange people from all across the country, made me feel that if I could turn back the time, I would. If my friend asked me, just at that time, to apply for the buddy program, I would answer her 'No way!' As the partner, matched with me, sat beside me, I got so nervous I froze up. Whenever a buddy asked me questions, I just gave one-word answers, yes or no. Though it was the first for me to talk with a person from another country, I was almost mute. I hated myself who knew how to speak in English but said nothing and regretted that I was such a bad partner for the buddy. I didn't even try to ask her to have lunch together because I was not sure I could keep talking while having our meal. I should have just gone for it. I hoped to overcome that whenever I meet new people or situation, I became too much nervous and I couldn't do anything. I made up my mind to be a staff of ISO and have a more experience to meet new, unfamiliar people and various situations.
I joined the buddy team as a team leader of a group. I had to lead a group of ten pairs of buddy from Korea, France, Germany, China, Mexico and Morocco. Though I had more buddies from a half year ago, it was much easier to talk with them and had confidence to be a friend with people who speak other language. Even if for the three months when I was in the buddy program, it was absolutely hard experience for me, the experience turned out to be worth enduring hardship. After I began not to be afraid of meeting foreign friends, I got to know I was a little biased. To be honest, I thought that foreigners would be more individualistic than Korean, they would like to take away from the smell of kimchi and are disgusted with sharing food eaten by others. However, it depended on person. It was like a taste that someone likes kimchi but someone does not. One of my foreign friends always asked for a refill of kimchi in a restaurant and was not reluctant to eat the food I left if he wanted more. If I didn't know how to say some words in English, they didn't get annoyed and waited for me until I finished what I was saying. I found out that everyone from other countries is the same. The taste doesn't come from the difference of language. Because of the untried prejudice, I paid too much attention to, was frightened beforehand and ran away from the chance to be close with new people.
I have never imagined that I would be a friend with foreigners from all over the world, travel with them and meet them in their country. While I was in ISO, I have been experienced a series of changes and something new at every moment. Every moment was unpredictable and full of unfamiliar experiences. I made different friends every semester and have heard about their own culture. I tried a lot of food from different countries such as halal food, taco and kebab. By the way, it is not terrible and dreadful memory for me as I felt at first. To meet strange people and be faced with unfamiliar situation doesn't make me shrink into myself. I might be inexperienced and immature at the beginning, but I can get more wonderful value from the experiences. I cannot think of going back to the former monotonous life.
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